IN ALL HONESTY | AT A GLANCE
This week’s column is for paid subscribers, and it holds:
a featured story on resentment
a somatic practice geared towards helping you discover your own limits
a writing prompt to help you get to know your own feeling cues better
a few favorites I’ve been loving lately
a space to deepen the conversation in community comments
The sounds of the city have hushed themselves quiet, and life tiptoes by. It’s Saturday afternoon, and most of our usual household rhythms have been put to rest.
I’ve been up since 7 am with the baby, trying to keep my eldest entertained since about 8:30. And the replay of my beloved women’s writer workshop sounds more like some kind of absurd chopped and screwed rendition with how many times I’ve had to pause for interruptions.
I soldier on, letting the recorded voices of my like-hearted friends dance into the playroom as I glide a massage ball under my shoulder blades. And then, a stray thought bubbles to the surface.
“It’s almost 1 pm, and he’s still asleep.”
My shoulder sinks further into the ball as my mind’s eye pictures my husband sleeping a few rooms over.
“This is supposed to be a family rest day, but I’m not getting much rest at all.”
“Mama!” the baby squawks, breaking through my mini-reverie.
He hands me a pair of binoculars, and waits for me to jump into our familiar game. I sit up and bring the lenses to my eyes, noticing how furrowed and tight my brows feel.
“I see you!” I shout, and he laughs. He nudges the binoculars to my face, urging me to keep playing.
“I see you!” I shout again. He bursts into a chuckle so big that he has to toddle away to catch his breath.
My head is throbbing now, I notice. Another thought slips in.
“Saturday rolls around, and I hardly get a break from my duties since mothering littles is a round-the-clock job.”
And then it all comes into view. There’s a Feeling here. A big one. I just hadn’t picked up on its presence until now.
“Resentment,” I whisper to myself, calling the Feeling by name. “I see you, too.”
Getting to know Resentment
Without skipping a beat, Resentment unveils its hulking figure and stands front and center in my Inner Space.
“It would be unwise to ignore me,” Resentment snarls.
“Well, here you are. So, what would you like me to know?” I ask.
“This isn’t fair,” Resentment says while crossing its arms. “Going along with a mandatory family rest day only to end up taking care of the lion’s share of household duties and very little rest for yourself? I can’t stand for that.”
“I hear you,” I say, addressing Resentment directly. “Anything else you’d like to share?”
“Yes, actually. You’re doing too much, and you know it. So, I don’t understand why you stay silent,” Resentment says.
“Well, he—” I start to open up, but Resentment swiftly cuts me off.
“No. Nope. Stop. This isn’t about him or anyone else for that matter.
— So, wanna know what Resentment revealed to me? Intrigued by your own relationship to Resentment? Curious about somatic practices to help you explore your own boundaries?
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