Surrendering to the Discomfort of Resistance
How Yin Yoga is teaching me to relinquish my posture of people pleasing
It’s 10:31 pm, and the boys are finally in bed. My husband is out helping a friend with some electrical work, so I find myself in the midst of a quiet home. I make myself a mug of steaming hot Masala Chai, and I saunter off to the living room to savor every sip.
My body feels tight. My arms are knotted with tension from all that I’ve been carrying these last few weeks. I consider stretching, but I can tell that what I actually need is deeper than that. I grab the remote, and search for my favorite Yin Yoga YouTube video. It’s a 90-minute sequence that focuses on heart and hip-opening postures. It isn’t often that I have space for such an extensive practice, so I decide to take advantage of the nighttime peace.
I roll out my yoga mat, and I choose the mantra “I am resonant” for tonight’s session.
In my first posture, I’m on all fours. I press my left shoulder into the earth. Just enough to feel a little resistance in my tissue, mindful to avoid moving towards pain. I will spend five minutes here, allowing my body weight to activate the heart meridian that runs through the back of my arm. As the minutes tick by, I find that I can sink deeper into the pose as the tension melts away from the fascia.
Before long, it’s time to switch arms. And then, a memory surfaces.
“You’re a people pleaser,” my husband reflected back to me a few days ago, his voice kind and sincere. “You don’t always have to sacrifice what’s true for you for the sake of someone else’s comfort.”