IN ALL HONESTY | AT A GLANCE
This week’s column is for both free and paid* subscribers, and it holds:
a featured story on unstuffing
a somatic practice to help you get to know yourself better while you unstuff your physical space
a writing prompt to help you explore what you may be unstuffing
a few favorites I’ve been loving lately
a space to deepen the conversation in community comments
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I spent the last few days of 2023 visiting my sister a few hundred miles away and came home with a cutthroat mission to clear out all that was stagnant.
Cluttered corners beware.
Going away allowed me to return with a fresh perspective on what had become commonplace. All it took was a change of scenery and suddenly all of our pinch points became glaringly obvious.
Piles of forgotten doodads, closets so jam-packed that their insides were spilling out, disorganized heaps of food stacked haphazardly in the pantry. It seemed like everywhere I looked, I was confronted with reminders of concerns I’d told myself I’d get to eventually.
We’ve lived here for over two years now. So, how much longer was I going to put off addressing all that was hiding in plain sight?
Instead of living out of our suitcases until we had worn through everything we took like we usually do, I unpacked the second my husband brought our things inside. I just couldn’t bear the thought sidestepping yet another task that needed tending to.
On New Year’s Eve, I set my sights on the kitchen: the freezer, the fridge, the pantry, the cabinets, the counter tops.
On New Year’s Day, I broadened my scope to include El Taller, my artist workshop turned playroom. The closet in that room had been shelter to crates of miscellany that we’d been shuffling around from house to house so as not to have make any hard decisions:
Where does this go?
Do I need this?
Is this just trash?
Could I pass this along to someone else who would find it valuable?
What do I need to replenish around here?
Why is this so hard to let go of?
As I went from room to room sorting through the medley of miscellany, I realized how my actions to organize my outer environment matched the steps I am taking to rearrange the landmarks of my Inner Space.
Over the years, I’d collected so many spiritual qualms and questions. So much spiritual heartbreak and heaviness. But I didn’t know how to sort them, how to bring them to the light and examine whether to hold onto them or not. So, I stuffed them away. For later. For sometime other than now but maybe never because who know’s if I’ll ever be able to go about opening all of this up.
I’ve been holding onto so much for so long. And it’s time to stop ignoring that.
“I witness you turning toward this great loss and holding all that you had to stuff down into your body after this happened. I see you unstuffing.”
-A reflection a dear writer friend mirrored back to me
Unstuffing. Taking the stuff out. Letting the stuff see the light of day. Letting myself take a good look at all the stuff I’d been ignoring.
So fascinating that this impasse would begin melting in the frostiness of winter.
Rather than forcing myself to undergo some major overhaul at home and in my heart, I’m clearing out space one room at a time. It’s more sustainable that way. More doable.
And I’m enjoying the palpable lightness that comes along with unstuffing the parts ignored.
Try this at home: unstuff a cluttered corner.
Arriving at a completely organized corner is a satisfying perk, but it is not the point of this prompt. Rather, this is an exercise in curiosity, in learning what you’ve been holding onto and why. As always, notice the sensations that arise in your body while you play with the following practice.
Set a 5 minute timer to address one overly stuffed space that you’ve been ignoring in your environment.
Can you bring yourself to look at it? To really take it all in?
Do you have the capacity to engage with one item? Just one.
Give yourself time to feel into this unstuffing. What would it feel like to shift one item around? To sort it? Gift it? To throw it away?
After the timer goes off, place your hand over your heart and explore a sense of gratitude for the opportunity to get to know yourself better.
Reflect on the sensations, images, stories that emerged from this practice.
What are you unstuffing these days? What does it feel like in your body to unstuff? How is the process of unstuffing unfolding for you?
If you feel so called, share your discoveries in the comments.
♥️ This ready-made Cardamom Mango Lassi
♥️ This podcast episode where Norah Jones plays music alongside Icelandic darling Laufey
♥️ This working toy replica of our beloved Dyson vacuum
♥️ This one pot recipe for Coq au Vin
Rest well this weekend.
In All Honesty,
Maris
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P.P.S. Be sure to check out the last column called…